Leader Guide
In today’s culture, friendships are often built on convenience or common interests, but Jesus shows us how to have deeper friendships. He teaches us that friendships should be marked by selfless, intentional, and sacrificial love. This week isn’t just about identifying good friendships; it’s about becoming the kind of friend who reflects that kind of love. Today we will look at the friendship between David and Jonathan as an example.
What you will need: A Bible or your Bible app, a notebook, pen, and highlighter. The verses highlighted below are linked so that you can easily access them during your study time.
Jump Start
Leader: This section is designed to get discussions started, examine God’s truth, and apply it to our week. Life Group leaders should not assume everyone in their group is a Christ follower. Because they are taking part in a Life Group, they must have some openness to know more and explore. Pray for the Holy Spirit to work and let Him lead you as well.
1. Did you have a childhood best friend from school, your neighborhood, or church community? Share a favorite memory from that friendship.
2. Read 1 Samuel 18:1-4. What does this passage reveal about Jonathan’s feelings toward David, and how does he express them through his actions? What might it mean to love a friend “as your own soul”? How does that compare to how friendships are often viewed today?
Leader: Jonathan’s friendship wasn’t casual—it was intentional and sacrificial. He gave up things that represented identity and status. Reminding us that real friendship often comes at a cost.
3. Read 1 Samuel 19:1-6. What is happening to David in this moment, and how does Jonathan respond? What does this reveal about loyalty? Where do you see this kind of loyalty lived out—or challenged in friendships today?
Leader: Jonathan was willing to speak up, even to his father, the king. That kind of loyalty requires courage. Real friendship sometimes means stepping into uncomfortable situations to stand for what’s right.
4. Read 1 Samuel 20:30–31. How does Saul react to Jonathan’s loyalty, and what does that reveal about the cost of this friendship? What pressures or challenges make it difficult to remain loyal in your own friendships?
Leader: Jonathan’s loyalty came with real risk; his reputation, his future, and safety. Godly friendships aren’t always convenient, but they are rooted in something deeper than personal gain.
5. Read John 15:12–15. According to Jesus, what does real love in friendship look like? What distinction does He make between a servant and a friend?
Leader: Jesus raises the standard of friendship to sacrificial love. Servants follow instructions, but friends are invited into relationships. Jesus shares His heart, plans, and love with his disciples. This isn’t just about finding good friends—it's about becoming one.
6. Read 1 Samuel 20:42; 2 Samuel 9:7. What connection do you see between Jonathan’s words and David’s actions? What does this show about how David valued their friendship even years later? How does this shape the way we view friendship through changing seasons or distance?
Leader: Their friendship didn’t end with the season. Years later, David honored it by caring for Jonathan’s son. Real friendship leaves a legacy—it continues through how we love others over time.
Action Step: This week, ask God how you can me more intentional with your current or potential friendships. This might mean reaching out to someone you’ve lost touch with, encouraging a struggling friend, or showing up in a practical way. Keep it simple—just be intentional.
Optional - Deeper Dive: Read Job 6:14. What does this verse say about how seriously God views friendship? How does kindness (or lack of it) reflect our relationship with God? Where can you grow in show kindness, loyalty, or presence?