Worth Fighting For
Part 3 – How to Thrive at Parenting
Leader Guide
A huge part of the family dynamic is raising children. It seems as if everyone has parenting advice to share, but most of it seems to conflict. The Bible tells us how we can thrive in parenting. When our priorities are in the right place, this relationship works better for both the parent and child. The practical takeaways from this message also apply to spiritual discipleship and healthier relationships.
What you will need: A Bible or your Bible app, a notebook, pen, and highlighter. The verses highlighted below are linked so that you can easily access them during your study time.
Jump Start
Leader: This section is designed to get discussions started, examine God’s truth, and apply it to our week. Life Group leaders should not assume everyone in their group is a Christ follower. Because they are taking part in a Life Group, they must have some openness to knowing more, exploring. Pray for the Holy Spirit to work and let Him lead you as well.
1. Do you get discouraged easily? Who or what do you turn to for encouragement? Do you have a good parenting or discipling model?
Leader’s Note: Google, your parent, other parents, listening to a sermon, etc.
2. Read Colossians 3:21. What is the parent's role in a child's life? How can your constant correction or nagging work against your parenting goals?
Leader’s Note: The speakers challenged us to have five positive interactions for every one correction in our relationships. It’s easy for parents to fall into a correction mode which damages the relationship. Once a child is discouraged and has low self-esteem or no respect for his/her parent, it is hard to regain a positive, growing, teaching relationship and experience.
3. Prioritize connection over correction. Read 1 Corinthians 16:14 and Deuteronomy 6:4-7. No matter what situation you are in, how will you act? How do your children, employees, or friends know that you love them? What should be your first priority? How does your family calendar reflect that priority? What is the significance of the directions God gives us for child-rearing in these verses?
Leader’s Note: In everything we do and say, love must be the premier action and attitude. Labels like “mom” or “dad” do not guarantee that your children feel that love. You must speak and show your love and appreciation often and as more than just an out the door “Be safe” and “I love you.” Let your children know that you are so glad God let you become their parent. You also must work to have God be your priority, loving Him with everything you have. If you love Him well, everything else will flow from that. You will parent and teach with God in mind. Your love will be evident, making corrections come from a place of love and care. Making God the focal point of your families will show your passion for Him. It is also important to create memories together and develop a good relationship. Specifically, this means detaching from screens and just fully being present.
4. Own the discipleship of our kids. Read Ephesians 6:4. Does this instruction still apply to parenting today? How does it differ from the time it was written? What do you have to do to “bring them up”? Is this a one-time thing or an ongoing process?
Leader’s Note: When we are in a season of busyness, it becomes so easy to neglect our “good intentions.” Discipleship doesn’t have to be a big scary thing. Parents can disciple their children by praying as the first response to their problems, setting aside time to read a short devotional in the morning together, attending a weekly message and talking about how it spoke to them, or even writing down the ways that God has answered prayers throughout the year. Furthermore, if we do not teach others about Jesus, the world will not. You have the greatest opportunity to influence the people in your home, Life Group, at work, and in your extended family. Don’t rely on others to teach your children your values and beliefs.
5. Create a discipleship plan. The message spoke to several ways you can be intentional about teaching your children about God or discipling a friend. What thoughts come to your mind?
Leader’s Note: Be intentional about how you will be investing in others and know your plan. Be on the same page with your spouse, if you are married. A plan will help you remain consistent. Make a habit of getting into God’s Word with those you are parenting or discipling. Have a daily quiet time with God (personally). Have a quiet time with your children, with a devotion that is age appropriate. Talk about what God is doing in your life and your family’s life. Pray out loud as you go through the day. Teach your children to pray, for example pray before meals and when they see an ambulance. Pray while you are disciplining or correcting them. The Spirit brings about conviction and repentance and will change a distressing situation into a teachable moment.
6. Action Step: Where do you need to make a change? Is it making a stronger connection? Having a consistent plan for correcting? A plan for teaching and nurturing your children in spiritual truth? Is there a relationship where you need to make the first move? Is that move, “Hello, I’m thinking about you. I just want you to know I love you”? Or is it “I’m so sorry. I was wrong. Can you forgive me?”
Additional Leader’s Note for Young Adults, Singles or Non-parents: Discipleship for you and a friend doesn’t have to be much different. Some ideas are to read a Christian book together or a book of the Bible that you are both interested in. Discuss a chapter every time you get together. You could also pray with them or bring them along with you as you serve.
Deeper
Leader: This section is designed for further use in your Life Group or for personal study. These can also be used as discussion points and ways to stay connected with your group throughout the week. Encourage your group to take time daily to walk through these questions.
Read through these examples of healthy parenting in the Bible.
7. Read 1 Samuel 1:10-28: What does Hannah pray for? What does she offer God? How does her husband, Elkanah, support her vow? (LN: After not being able to have a child for many years, God blessed Hannah with a son, Samuel. She had promised to commit his life to the Lord. Hannah surrendered herself to God and she made God the priority of their family. Elkanah gave her leeway, but also reminded her (vs.23) that she had made a commitment. Samuel's time in the temple taught him how to follow God, and the blessings that comes with being obedient to Him.)
8. Read Judges 13: What key question does Manoah ask the angel of the Lord? How did Samson’s mother support his future calling? (LN: Manoah asked, “What is to be the child's manner of life, and what is his mission?” He wanted to raise this son in accordance with God’s plan and purpose for him. Samson’s mother is a great example, also. She knew he was to become a Nazirite. A Nazirite was someone who was dedicated to God. They also didn’t drink strong wine and would not cut their hair. This was a big commitment. While Samson’s mother was pregnant, she followed these rules as well.)
9. Read Exodus 1:22-2:10: How did Moses’ parents defy the law? What type of courage did that take? How could his mother have placed him in the Nile? How did the Lord direct Moses’ life from this early incident? (LN: They kept him at home, in violation of the law of Pharaoh, until they could no longer conceal him. Then it took courage to place him in a river with strong current, snakes, crocodiles, and hippopotamuses. Yet God directed the Pharaoh’s daughter to find him and even allowed him to be nursed and raised in his own home until he was older. His mother was even paid for the privilege of raising her own son!)
10. Read Luke 15:11-32: How did the Prodigal son’s father show good parenting? How is this a great example of God’s love? (LN: He gave each child space to go their own way, but he was waiting and watching to be ready to both forgive and welcome him home. He made the first move by running and forgiving before the apology was uttered. He also treated each son differently, but well and fairly. He showed unconditional love, joy, and pleasure in both sons.)