Worth Fighting For
Part 2 – Honor and Respect
Leader Guide
Some of us have great relationships with our parents, yet some people do not have a relationship with their parents at all. Let’s learn how God designed this relationship to work best. We have people in authority over us from childhood to old age. Let’s learn how we can honor and respect our parents – and others who may be in authority over us—throughout the seasons of our lives. By showing honor and respect, we honor God, and our relationships become simpler and more natural.
What you will need: A Bible or your Bible app, a notebook, pen, and highlighter. The verses highlighted below are linked so that you can easily access them during your study time.
Jump Start
Leader: This section is designed to get discussions started, examine God’s truth, and apply it to our week. Life Group leaders should not assume everyone in their group is a Christ follower. Because they are taking part in a Life Group, they must have some openness to knowing more, exploring. Pray for the Holy Spirit to work and let Him lead you as well.
1. Do you feel it is easier to respect and be kind to your parents, or everyone else?
Leader’s Note: Sometimes, those we are closest to are the most challenging to honor and respect. Some people in your group may say that it is easier for them to love their family because of all they have done for them. Others still carry hurt from their parents’ mistakes.
2. Read Ephesians 6:1-3. Who is meant in this verse when it says “children”? What is the promise that goes along with honoring your parents? What does the world say about showing honor compared to what the Bible says?
Leader’s Note: This verse is talking to the “children” of God – Christians. Christ followers should strive to honor their parents because of their love and respect of God. He in turn blesses us with a long, favored life. This can also apply to others in authority. We are told that our respect needs to be earned, from even our parents. This is the opposite of God’s plan for relationships. In fact, God honored us by sending His Son to die for us, though we were unworthy and did not “deserve” that sacrifice.
3. Accept their authority. Read Luke 2:48-51 and Colossians 3:20. How did Jesus’ parents react when they could not find Him? What example did Jesus set for us on how to respond to our parents when they are worried?
Leader’s Note: They were in great distress. In their fear, they seemed to be angry and blaming Him (“Why have you done this to us?”). He told them where He had been and was obedient / submissive to them. Mary was able to treasure this event because He responded with kindness and followed them home as they requested. God created the family structure for children to obey their parents. This is how we can honor God. Our ability to honor in our homes will help us to show Christ’s love to our family.
4. Read 1 Peter 2:17. Does “honor everyone” have any qualifications? What does love have to do with honor? Who are the “emperors” in your life?
Leader’s Note: We are to honor everyone. This doesn’t mean they deserve it, but we treat everyone with respect and even love. We especially love fellow believers, no matter how we disagree with them. The “emperors” in our lives are the leaders: our parents first, the school principal, the police officer, the governor, the president. This also extends to our bosses, our HOA president, the cranky older neighbor. Just treat them with respect and honor, because of God, not them!
5. Appreciate them. Read Colossians 3:15-16 and Proverbs 23:22. In what ways do the Colossians passage describe how we should act as children who honor God? How can we apply this lesson to our lives if we have a difficult relationship with our parents?
Leader’s Note: If we operate from a place of peace and joy in Christ, we are thankful people, encouraging others. Even if there has been a strained, unhealthy parent/child relationship, we can be thankful that they gave us life. We can appreciate them with our words. Being thankful to those around us is good for our health and perspective.
6. Make sure to care for them. Read Mark 7:10-13 and John 19:26-27. Why did Jesus rebuke the religious leaders? What was most important to Him: caring for parents or dedicating extra gifts to God? How did He say this dishonored the Word of God? How did Jesus take care of His mother?
Leader’s Note: God calls us to take care of our parents in their old age. Even lofty promises to give our money to God instead of caring for them go against the commandment to honor them! God knows it will be hard, but His plan is for us to take care of our parents when they can’t take care of themselves. Remember, they took care of us when we couldn’t take care of ourselves. Even on the cross, Jesus had a plan to provide care for His mother.
7. Action Step: What are the little things you can do to honor your parents? Share them with your Life Group. How does this translate to someone else in your life who you should honor and respect?
Leader’s Note: We are not called to correct our parents. We need to honor and respect the authority that God has given them in our lives and not try to teach them. We can call them, thank them, drop by to do some chores, talk about them to others with honor and appreciation. We can listen without arguing. All these actions translate to our bosses, teachers, and others in authority over us.
Deeper
Leader: This section is designed for further use in your Life Group or for personal study. These can also be used as discussion points and ways to stay connected with your group throughout the week. Encourage your group to take time daily to walk through these questions.
Read through these Bible stories of people honoring their parents, or the authority God had placed in their lives.
8. Read Genesis 50: In what ways did Joseph honor Jacob? How did he respond to his brothers in a way that honored Jacob and God? (LN: Joseph is mourning the death of his father. He takes the proper time to mourn and respectfully bury Jacob. Since his brothers had sold him into slavery, they could have been his enemies. Instead of holding a grudge against them, he forgave and comforted them. Joseph also chose gratitude in this situation. He chose to be thankful for how God used the situation they had put him in. He in turn asked that his bones be remembered and taken back to the land the Lord would give the Hebrews.)
9. Read 1 Samuel 24: What situation was David in? How did his men react to seeing Saul? Why was he grief-stricken over his actions? (LN: David was running from his life from Saul. His men felt God was giving Saul into David’s hand to be killed. Yet David understood that God had put Saul in authority, and he was to respect the king. Even though his life was at stake, he chose to honor God by not killing Saul. In this passage, David did cut Saul’s robe, but then felt like even that was dishonoring to Saul and God.)
10. Read 2 Samuel 9: Why would David seek out the grandson of his enemy? What could Mephibosheth have been expecting to happen? (LN: David wanted to care for Saul’s grandson because he loved Jonathan, Mephibosheth’s father. When messengers came to find him, Mephibosheth probably felt that David would try to kill him, the last of Saul’s descendants. But David honored him for the rest of his life.)
11. Read John 19:26-27: When Jesus was on the cross, how did He honor and support His mother? (LN: Jesus knew that He was about to die, and wanted to make sure His mother would be provided for. Jesus made sure that the disciple who He loved—John—was going to be there for her and accept her into his family. The disciple then took Mary into his home so that she was taken care of as she got older. Even in Jesus’ last moments on earth, He was thinking about how to honor His mother.)