Part 1 - The Wisdom of Proverbs
Leader Guide
At first glance, a look at the “Proverbs 31 woman” seems beyond us all, whether male or female. But the teachings of Proverbs are godly wisdom, passed down from fathers and mothers to their sons and daughters. What can each of us learn, even from ancient tasks and trades, that apply to and benefit our lives today?
What you will need: A Bible or your Bible app, a notebook, pen, and highlighter. The verses highlighted below are linked so that you can easily access them during your study time.
Jump Start
Leader: This section is designed to get discussions started, examine God’s truth, and apply it to our week. Life Group leaders should not assume everyone in their group is a Christ follower. Because they are taking part in a Life Group, they must have some openness to knowing more, exploring. Pray for the Holy Spirit to work and let Him lead you as well.
1. What is your prior knowledge of the “Proverbs 31 woman” (if any), and how has it developed, based on the teaching from the weekend message?
Leader’s Note: Proverbs 31 is widely used in women’s ministry. Many will have dismissed it as a standard for women only or felt terrible for not being “a Proverbs 31 woman.” Those who are unchurched or new to the faith may have no baggage regarding this passage. Encourage group members to consider how “marrying wisdom” is good for everyone seeking any kind of partnership. The character displayed in this passage is beneficial and winsome in all people of all ages or genders.
2. Compare and contrast these two passages: Proverbs 31:10-12 and Proverbs 20:6-7. What words characterize righteous men and women? What benefits do their actions bring about? If wisdom is a hallmark of their lives, how do we find this? Read 1 Corinthians 1:30.
Leader’s Note: Proverbs 31, Excellent, trustworthy, beneficial; Proverbs 20, faithful, of integrity, worth following, a blessing to generations after him. The book of Proverbs repeatedly teaches that we should pursue wisdom. The Corinthians passage teaches that God has given us Jesus as Wisdom itself!
3. Read Proverbs 31:13-15. Although these may be archaic “chores,” what timeless principles do they teach? What are your strengths and the strengths of those around you? How are you at planning, preparing, and rising early? Now, check your motivation: are you chasing worldly success, or working “as unto the Lord,” rising early to spend time with Him and working to bring honor to His name? To both men and women, employers and employees, or business partners: are you treating your partner as a capable equal?
Leader’s Note: The characteristics of hard work, integrity, service are all worthy. Your strengths should not compete with other’s gifts. Celebrate the difference! Also, check your motives.
4. Read Proverbs 31:16-18. How are you doing in these areas of your life? Where are you not seeing yourself as capable as you are? Where are you not living up to your potential? How are you working on your spiritual, mental, and physical strength? Now read Proverbs 31:20 and 31:8-9? Why is frugality and industriousness necessary for generosity?
Leader’s Note: This person is a careful investor. She knows where her money is being spent and makes sure it is profitable. She is not materialistic, buying for the sake of shopping (retail therapy). In order to have the margin and funds to help others, you must be frugal and intentional with your finances.
5. It is crucial that we model Jesus to a hurting world. Read Proverbs 31:26. In what ways does this verse challenge you? In what ways are you succeeding? Who are you instructing? Is it difficult for you to give constructive criticism or deal with conflict in a gentle way? Are your words consistently kind? In what ways must you grow?
Leader’s Note: Instruction, when given the first time, isn’t such a challenge. But what about the second time or third time? Instruction with kindness means no sarcasm, no irritation, no making fun, just kindness. This also applies to mentoring or mediating in a conflict. Speak the truth...with love (Ephesians 4:15-16). The harder the truth is, the more kindness is required.
6. Action Steps: Where do you see strengths in others, but have not supported or celebrated them? Look for an opportunity to encourage someone this week. Also, when there is a need for constructive criticism, debrief, or instruction, consciously start with words of affirmation and praise for what was done right or with excellence! Finally, pray together with your spouse, partner, employee, or roommate!
Deeper
Leader: This section is designed for further use in your Life Group or for personal study. These can also be used as discussion points and ways to stay connected with your group throughout the week. Encourage your group to take time daily to walk through these questions.
7. Read 1 Kings 3:1-4. We see the “less than perfect” side of Solomon here. What do you notice? If you have scriptural reasons for your judgements, list them also.
Leader’s Note: Solomon married outside of the faith (Deuteronomy 7:1 and 3) and he practiced worshipping at “the high places” (Deuteronomy 12:2).
8. Read 1 Kings 3:5-9. Read this exchange between God and Solomon. What surprises you? What does it tell you about God’s nature? What do you notice in Solomon’s preface to his “ask”? What about his choice of blessings from God?
Leader’s Note: Does it surprise you that God came to Solomon while he was in a pagan location, worshipping other gods? God is merciful and gracious, even seeking us out in our sin. Solomon reminded God of His great love for David, then he thanked God for being faithful to David by placing his son on the throne. He was humble and vulnerable, sharing his concern for his ability to lead. His “ask” was for the benefit of the people, not himself.
9. Read 1 Kings 3:10-15. What is God’s response to humble prayer? How does this compare to James 1:5? Does this remind you of Luke 6:38, Malachi 3:10, and Matthew 6:33? Why or why not?
Leader’s Note: Even though Solomon was smack in the middle of idol worship, his prayer was humble and “other-focused.” God blessed him with wisdom, as he requested. Then God gave him all the “lesser” things. He was overwhelmingly, abundantly blessed with every physical blessing.
The Luke and Matthew verses are about the tithe. But they also apply to Solomon’s selfless ask, giving up his own requests and needs for the good of God’s people.
Note: One example of Solomon’s wisdom, common sense, and his great ability to rule the people fairly is found in 1 Kings 3:16-28. It has entered the general knowledge of the secular world and is sometimes called “the Judgment of Solomon.” It’s just a great story for you to know!