Today’s Scripture: "And when they saw him they worshiped him, but some doubted." Matthew 28:17
Theme: Some disciples will worship, and some people will doubt. What are you going to do about Jesus?
ISOLATION
I stood at the precipice of life and death, not even really understanding completely what that meant. I had chosen wrong, time and again. Those choices had brought me and anyone who knew me...pain, suffering, doubt, struggle, loss. I had been leading myself. I had made all the choices.
All of us have moments in our lives where we wonder, “Why did I do that?” I believe almost all of those moments begin with doubt. Doubt in goodness; doubt in love; doubt in others; doubt in ourselves, even. Doubt can isolate us and, as we know, isolation can pull us out of community and out of love. We cannot love in isolation. It is a vacuum of self, and it distorts our reality, where I alone get to decide what is true. The same "l" that brought me into this isolation.
LOVE
We have seen people we love walk themselves into situations that hurt, destroy, or harm. When they finally reach out to us for help, what are they met with? I thought I knew what to expect from God. I knew where I was, how I got there, and I knew that the horrible consequences of all I had chosen. I was surrounded by those consequences. As I slid down to the floor, literally “the bottom,” I sat ready and waiting for judgement. I asked finally, “What now, God?” Expecting thunder, lightning, and punishment, I was met with love. The love of a Father. The love of a Friend. Most importantly, the love of a Savior.
EYES TO SEE
As God spoke to my heart and opened my eyes to all that He had for me—and all that He planned for me, I stood in awe and wonder. He had plans from the moment I was conceived, and which will continue until the day I go home to be with Him. Plans. He made me in such a way that I could accomplish these plans through the gifts He gave me, through how He made me. But I had gone it alone, and in my small-mindedness, had left behind the most important part of this journey, my Guide: Jesus. I had walked blindly, taking myself to places and things that were not meant for me. Yet, here He stood, showing me the love He had, the plans He had, and the Power He was providing to get me there. Showing me life. Real life.
There was still so much weight on me from the wrong places and things I had allowed myself to experience that I felt I had no strength to follow Him. I looked up in regret and with sadness, thinking I had missed my chance. But He lifted every weight, every burden, all that I had done, said, seen, and experienced. He took them upon Himself, to be put to death and left behind, gone forever. My heart squeezed at the idea that another would be taking my burdens, my regrets, my sin, my death.
Once again, I initially did not understand that it was not just another person bearing my sin, but it was God Himself in His Son, Jesus. What a difference those two words made: The Son. Yes, He would die and put to death my sins, but because He was the Son of God, He had the power to come back to life, leaving us both free of all that had hindered me. What is my response? I can accept it and walk now with Him, living the rest of this life as it was planned by my Creator and then into eternity in the fullness of who He made me to be. Or I could doubt...and allow it to put me right back in the place I was before.
Make It Personal: Have you found yourself in places and circumstances that seem to lead you nowhere? Are you struggling with something and don't seem to know how to overcome it? Jesus is waiting for you to surrender to Him. To hand your burdens, sins, and struggles to Him. He can exchange them for love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control. He can bring you freedom. He can gift you with these and guide you forever to Himself.
Pray: Lord, forgive me for my doubt, for thinking that I can figure everything out. For believing that my humanity is smarter that your Divinity; smarter than You, God. Thank You for your forgiveness and for providing me with a way out of where I am and into Your arms and Kingdom. Thank You for guiding me and showing me what “life and life abundantly” can look like. Holy Spirit, come; show me the way that I can finally be free and have peace, joy, love, gentleness, kindness, faithfulness and self-control. Thank You, Lord, for being the answer, for being my Friend, my Guide, my Savior. I
surrender my life and my doubts to You. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Read: James 1:1-18; Matthew 14:22-33; Hebrews 11:1-6