LETTING GO
Sarah Sloan
Today's Scripture: “He said, ‘Do not lay your hand on the boy or do anything to him, for now I know that you fear God, seeing you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me.’” Genesis 22:12, ESV
Theme: Fear of God holds nothing back from Him.
DIGGING IN
There was a time in my life when my main goal and ambition was to find my life companion and get married. At the time, all my peers were in relationships, and I felt like the eternal bridesmaid who would never become the bride. This desire to get married became all-encompassing. I began to see every interaction and enterprise I participated in through the lens of whether it could further this one specific goal.
It was precisely while I was so focused that I felt God telling me to let go of the idea of marriage, to release my plans. In every message I heard or devotion I read, I felt God say “No, this isn’t what I have for you.” So I responded in the way that most reasonable, Christ- followers would: I dug my heels in. I refused to relent. I continued to seek what I thought was best for me. This, in turn, led to several months of frustration, dissatisfaction, and disillusionment.
My disobedience finally ended several months later on Easter Sunday. That night while I knelt on the floor in the laundry room, done running. I was officially tired of wrestling with God. I decided that a life of singleness and without children would be better than a life lived in defiance to God. I had no idea why He was calling me to this life and yet I knew that no matter the goodness of what I was pursuing, if it isn’t God’s best, then I was living in disobedience, and it was no longer good. It was straight up sin. So, I finally decided to trust and let go.
RELENTING
As I released my hold and control over my future, God spoke verses to me that I had learned as a child. He said to me, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9, ESV). And I remembered, “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6, ESV).
There, on the floor, I confessed my stubbornness, my refusal to release control, and how I had come to worship an idea instead of God Himself. I told God I was letting go of my need for love, marriage, and children, and I would whole-heartedly pursue Him in singleness for the rest of my days. And as I surrendered, I felt such peace and the overwhelming presence of God. And as I went to bed that night, and slept, God brought the clearest and most vibrant images of my future marriage and family. I awoke, still feeling God’s presence, peace, and joy—and such a clear, deep knowledge that He had never wanted to take marriage or a family from me. All along, He had been asking me to relinquish control, to place God as first in my life, to release the all-encompassing desire. His only requirement was that I would rely upon Him and allow Him to be more than enough for me and the most important thing in my life.
THE SON OF PROMISE
In Genesis, starting in Chapter 12, there is an entire lifetime of God calling Abraham and promising Him an offspring that would inherit the land. For ten chapters, there is the pull of Abraham trying to be patient, tempered by him loosing hope and taking the situation into his own hands. Spoiler alert, all efforts by Abraham’s own will and power did not work out well. But finally, in Abraham’s extreme old age (and we are not talking about “40 is the new 30” here), but when Abraham was 100 years old, the child of promise finally came! As with anything that takes time, effort, and patience, the value is inherently increased. Then this most beloved, most precious child was required by God as the sacrifice. Thankfully, God Himself provided the actual sacrifice when, like me, Abraham relinquished his cherished dream to God.
A JEALOUS GOD
As with me, the issue was not with the object of Abraham’s affections. The problem isn’t necessarily with your goals, your desires, or your beloved. The issue has always been with our hearts. We must constantly, daily, and moment by moment ask ourselves if we have put something or someone before God. You see, one of God’s names our God is known by or referred to Hebrew is El Kanna, or “consuming fire and jealous God”. God is jealous for us. He is not jealous for us in a negative, worldly way. His jealousness is defined by loving us so much that He desires every piece of our hearts and all our affection and adoration.
Make It Personal: Is there anything you are holding too tightly? Anything that you feel you cannot live without? Is there anything God has been nudging or outright pushing you to relinquish? Make the decision seek God and obey.
Pray: God, please search my heart and know me. Please show me if there is anything in my life that I am seeking, striving towards, or putting before You. Let me understand how deep, rich, and wide is Your love for me. If I could see You rightly—in all of Your majesty, glory, and radiance—then I know I could align my life more rightly. Help me to see You and seek You with all that I am and all that I have. Help me to put You first in my life and to love Your for my whole life. May my life bring glory and honor to You in all that I do and with all that I am. Amen.
Read: Genesis 22:1-18
Weekly Memory Verse: “Sin whispers to the wicked, deep within their hearts. They have no fear of God to restrain them.” Psalm 36:1, NLT