USE ME, LORD
Sara Adams
Today’s Scripture: “‘But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness’. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
Theme: Tell me lies like: “I am too damaged to be used by God.”
A SECOND CHANCE
My family’s back story has many layers, but to be candid, I come from a blended family with a background of drug and alcohol abuse. Both my parents were freed from their addictions before they married each other, but the hurts followed my two oldest siblings, children born before my parents knew Jesus.
During spring of 2014, my oldest brother, Johnathon, was having horrible migraines which resulted in him being rushed to a major hospital. The reason? Five abscesses had formed on his brain, caused by his addiction to hard drugs. My family was told Johnathon was just one hour away from death, but they had caught the infections, would do open brain surgery, and could safely remove all infection. Within three months post-op, Jonathan was walking out of the hospital and given a God-gifted second chance at living.
GRATEFULNESS TURNED TO GRIEF
We got to spend the next few years somewhat united through the trials of hurts and addictions. Family gatherings were always challenging, but we were grateful Johnathon was just alive to be there. I was only nine years old when my brother went into the hospital, but I still remember the strain in my family. My parents continued to offer their unconditional love and support in Johnathon’s drug usage, but being parents to an adult child who is in and out of jails, rehabs, and jobs is a heavy load, especially since they still had three other kids to raise.
In my early teens Johnathon was living in another state and was in and out of contact. We prayed his second chance at life would not be in vain, and that he would gain freedom from the hurts and drugs.
When my parents received a call during fall of 2021, that hope was reignited. Johnathon was in jail, but at least he was safe. After a few charges and a heavy bail, he had an upcoming trial to decide his sentence, so maybe this would be his breaking point. Maybe he would find freedom. After months in prison awaiting a final court date, Johnathon’s charges were dropped. On December 16th, Johnathon was released from jail and free.
But just three days later, he passed away. I am certain the Lord brought him home, to be eternally free and perfectly whole in the presence of Jesus.
GOD IS STILL SOVEREIGN
Walking through grief is hard. Walking through unexpected loss is confusing. Wondering why God would heal, then allow Johnathon’s death, was a massive challenge in my faith, a hard test of endurance. But with my whole family grieving and experiencing pain of their own, and my friends not relating to my suffering, I found myself looking to Jesus for my answers and felt the arms of Christ holding me. The Lord revealed to me that He understands the grief of loss; He had watched His own Son suffer and die.
Make it personal: What does your season of hardship look like? Financial burdens, grief, temptation, parenting struggles, addictions? These experiences can cause you to feel isolated, but Jesus has promised that He will never leave us or forsake us. His arms are always reaching out to hold you.
Pray: Lord, I pray for Your supernatural comfort over my mind and spirit in this season of discomfort. Thank You for the promise that You will never leave me alone. Hold my heavy heart as I’m running this race You have set before me. In Your Name I pray. Amen.
Read: Matthew 27:46; Luke 23:34-28; Hebrews 12:1-2
Weekly Memory Verse: “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8, ESV