SECURE
Carey Madding
Today's Scripture: “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:7, ESV
Theme: A commitment to keep on loving, hoping, and believing in your relationships all go a long way towards their health.
BAGGAGE
When people start dating, they bring to their relationships more than the current attraction and friendship. They bring their past. Were their parents kind, firm, or harsh? Did they argue and belittle their children--or each other? Did they threaten to leave? Did they actually leave, die, or go to jail?
My husband remembers the anxiety of hearing his parents’ arguments, windows being slammed shut to keep the neighbors from overhearing the yelling. He heard threats of divorce. My family, on the other hand, did not talk of those things. Even though I remember a few quarrels, some coolness, and (definitely) some pouting, I was not afraid they would leave each other—or us. We had been through separation due to military deployment away from home. But I never feared we would not be reunited, unless death kept my dad from returning.
PERSONAL ATTACKS
If overheard quarrels and threats are so devastating, we know that personal attacks are more so. I can remember several direct attacks from friends or team members. If they are not intended to build up, they cut like a knife. Though they may have contained some “truth,” the message was lost in the hurt. Even gentle criticisms, spoken in love, cut. Yet I am able to tell myself they are truly intended for my good and my future well-being.
By far, the deepest cuts are from the ones closest to us. So, guard your hearts from bitterness, a critical spirit, and a cruel tongue. Choose to cherish the friends, spouse, and family of your youth. Don’t outgrow – in pride, ego, riches, or knowledge – long-time relationships. You may know a whole lot more now, but you have a history with these friends. As you age, a shared past is a precious thing.
BUILDING INTO OTHERS
If you care about someone, always think the best of them. Assume their hurtful action was an accident and speak to them about it. Keep the air clear. Don’t gossip about it to someone else: go straight to the source and get it sorted. If it was intentional, discuss it. Or if it was minor, overlook it and don’t become bitter. Be patient; be kind.
Say loving things to your children. If you must argue with a spouse, try to do it privately, away from them. But whether in front of them or alone, always be respectful and careful with your words and actions. Your children will know, but your kind and measured responses will help your children live a secure life, confident that the adults in their lives are self-controlled and loving, even when arguing with each, or when punishing or reprimanding the children.
Make It Personal: Maybe you are in a tough season with your marital, familial, or work relationships. Maybe you are lonely. If you are in an exasperating relationship, check your heart first. Are you loving, patient, and kind? Are you critical, put out, and looking for another mistake? Take responsibility for your side of the equation, then go above and beyond that with compassion and patience. If God asks us to care for our relationships, He is able to restore and renew them. Call on Him. Ask His help. Repent of any sin on your own part and ask Him to show you your next step.
Pray: Dear Father, I love You and I am so grateful You are the God who wants a relationship with me. Help me to be an example of Your patience, grace, and lovingkindness in all my relationships. Help me to exemplify mercy and to speak only gentle, encouraging words, even in the heat of the moment or when I need to discipline or gently rebuke. I want to love as You love. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
Read: Proverbs 4:20-25; 1 Thessalonians 5:11-14
Weekly Memory Verse: Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (ESV)