OVER THE LONG HAUL
Carey Madding
Today's Scripture: “And they did not understand the saying that he spoke to them. And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them.” Luke 2:50-51, ESV
Theme: Strive to honor your parents as Jesus did throughout His life.
SEASONS AND REASONS
As I look back over my life, I recognize different seasons in my relationships with my parents. As a child, there was much approval seeking, and a sense that if I kept doing the right things, I would be loved. I worried that their love was conditional. I obeyed because I wanted to please them and to experience that love. As I grew, there was some aspect of pleasing God in this, as I grew to memorize the Ten Commandments and the instruction to “honor” my parents. But I do not think that it was a prime motivator.
As a teen? Well, we all know that submitting to parents can feel like the cruelest punishment. I felt my parents were the strictest, most archaic, and most un-with-it parents around. Can I tell you I never went to a high school party with alcohol, drugs, or even “spin the bottle”? I was never allowed to cruise up and down our town’s main street, looking for friends or stopping for a milkshake. I was on a strict “A to B” plan: to my friends, to the movie, or to the Dairy Queen—then return straight home. I balked. I mentally rebelled. Yet I obeyed them.
As a new wife, there was suddenly another set of parents to honor. Wow! That was a shock. And it was hard. Maybe you, too, have had in-law problems in your marriage. Still, the Bible teaches that if my spouse and I are now one flesh, one entity, his parents are mine.
JESUS MODELED IT FOR ME
The Bible is clear: Jesus is the only begotten Son of God. He was also the biological son of Mary, and Joseph stepped in as an earthly father. Jesus obeyed them, trained as a carpenter with Joseph, and honored them in all things.
When He was left at the temple, His reply to his parents may seem curt. I think Jesus was probably more surprised: “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father's house?” (Luke 2:49b, ESV). He instantly left the temple and returned home with them. A few verses later, after he submitted and went with them, the Bible says: “And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man” (Luke 2:52, ESV). I take this to mean that Mary and Joseph also were pleased with His gentle, obedient, honoring spirit.
At the wedding in Cana, though Jesus tells Mary it is not yet time for Him to reveal Himself, He still obeys her. He performs the miracle that she requests. He turns water into fabulous wine.
At the foot of the cross, as Jesus was suffering indescribable pain, He looked down at his mother. With compassion, He gave her to His beloved friend and disciple John to be cared for after His death. I find this poignant: Mary had other children. We know James was the brother of Jesus. Yet He added another layer of care and protection for her final days by instructing John to consider and care for her as his own mother.
FINISHING WELL
It is both easier and harder to honor and submit to your parents at the end of their days. They no longer control you, but they have wisdom. They deserve your attention and respect when they offer opinions. On the other hand, with poor health or dementia, there can be conflict or hurt feelings. After providing some care for both my parents near the end of their lives, it felt good to show them honor throughout all of their days. I felt God’s pleasure.
In an even more difficult situation, the mother-in-law who had never fully accepted me came to live with us for some of her last years due to her dementia. I was her primary caregiver and became “her person.” The harsh judgment or prejudices we both had from years before were eased and even erased. God allowed that tender time of caregiving to bring healing to both our hearts and reconciliation to our family.
Honoring, submitting, and caring for our parents doesn’t end as we become adults. We may not always agree with them, and we may not follow their advice. But we can honor...just because God tells us to do so.
Make It Personal: As a child, teen, or young adult living at home, you can obey your parents, unless their demands go against God’s law and your good conscience. Most times, they provide beneficial protection, even in restrictive rules or firm boundaries. Think the best of them and give them the benefit of the doubt.
As an adult, speak kindly and respectfully, even when you don’t take their advice. Honor and help them as they age. Protect their dignity and don’t belittle them, even if they lose the ability to think clearly. You can listen to repeated stories; you can reminisce about good times with a parent who no longer remembers them.
Even if they have passed on, you can speak of your parents with respect. Don’t ridicule them...or don’t speak of them at all. Honor and care for them to the end of their days, and God will be pleased.
What season are you in with your own parents? In what way can you improve the relationship by showing honor and respect?
Pray: Lord God, thank You for my parents and other adults who loved and cared for me. Thank You for showing me how to love and care for them. In the season I am in right now, help me love and honor them as an act of obedience to You. Thank You for being a loving Father to me. I want to honor You with my thoughts, actions, and life. In Jesus’ Name, amen.
Read: Luke 2:41-52, John 2:1-12, 19:26-27
Weekly Memory Verse:
“Listen to your father who gave you life,
and do not despise your mother when she is old.” Proverbs 23:22, ESV