GOD AT THE CENTER
Kimberly Lawrence
Today's Scripture: “Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a fattened ox and hatred with it.” Proverbs 15:17, ESV
Theme: It’s worth fighting to maintain a loving home even at the expense of affluence or worldly respect.
IF MAMA AIN’T HAPPY…
You’ve heard this saying… “if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” It’s a quip about keeping the peace, making sure everything is in order, and that “mama” (in this case), is pleased. I can relate. I’m embarrassed at the number of times my mood has dictated the atmosphere of my home. For good or bad, my energy affects those around me and sometimes, I become the center of my own universe. Being married for almost 28 years, my husband and I have become sort of informal mentors to a handful of younger couples. To be clear, we have ZERO qualifications as “marriage and family counselors.” Our advice is based solely upon our personal experience as we have figured out how to navigate the many hills and valleys over the last three decades together. It’s trial and error…and there have been plenty of both…and a commitment to prioritize our marital relationship.
OUR “RAFT”
We fight differently. I’m a grudge holder with a side of the silent treatment. He’d rather blow it all out at once and move on. The minister who performed our wedding ceremony all those years ago was imparting wisdom about how to have a long and healthy relationship and referenced part of Ephesians 4:26, “never let the sun set on your wrath.” Both of us heard “raft” instead of wrath. We made eye contact as confusion simultaneously crossed our faces. But, for the last 28 years, that verse has been used to diffuse some of the most stressful of arguments. Rather than going to bed mad (and for me, committing to the fight for days), he will give me a kiss goodnight and whisper “don’t let the sun set on your raft.” Whatever the means, find what works to restore harmony and open communication in your relationship. If you have children…trust me, they are watching and will model that behavior in their own homes one day. They will learn to pout, sulk, blow up, or hold a grudge, just as they see mom and dad do. Instead, let them see you pray, surrender, apologize and sacrifice all else for your family.
WHAT THE WORLD SAYS…
The world says you should be “happy,” and that marriage shouldn’t be hard. But that’s alie from the devil. He would have you believe that difficulty means something is wrong and irreparable. Yet God will use these same inevitable trials to build patience, understanding, and growth with your partner, making your relationship even stronger as a result. God calls us to holiness, not happiness. We can mistakenly believe, and our culture reinforces, that our own happiness is the measuring stick for total well-being. It is not. Things of this world that bring us temporary pleasure (money, comfort, accomplishment) are not sustainable nor eternal. God wants us to be blessed, which only comes when we seek Him first. Yielding to oneself and following God’s will produce something far greater than happiness. It produces joy. Guard your heart and don’t fall prey to what the world values over what God offers. Trust His promises to work all things together for good…even when it’s not immediately evident to you. Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Ask yourself if your decisions today are for the finite or for forever. Happiness and joy are two different things. Happiness is temporary and situational…generated by outside influences. Joy is limitless and transformative…something you can choose, even if you don’t “feel” it, every single day. But the reward is great.
Make It Personal: As Christians, we are called to love without measure, give sacrificially with no expectation to receive, and forgive as we, too, have been forgiven. Do the habits in your household reflect your faith? Does your spouse get to see and benefit from the best parts of you and who God is calling you to be?
Pray: God, I know Your work in me is not done yet. Sometimes those closest to me see the worst parts of me. I pray You’ll reveal where I need to change my behavior and attitude to do my part in creating a loving home. I want to hear Your voice above all others. Help me to remember the grace and forgiveness You’ve freely given me so I can pour out the same to those I love. Amen
Read: Ephesians 4:17-32; Proverbs 16:32
Weekly Memory Verse: “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,endures all things. Love never ends.” 1 Corinthians 13:7-8a, ESV