BIGGER PICTURE
Kimberly Lawrence
Today's Scripture: “But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.” 1 Corinthians 7:28, ESV
Theme: Marriage isn’t easy. It will require effort and sacrifice to maintain and repair even the best relationship.
THE WEDDING VS. THE MARRIAGE
When I walked down the aisle at barely 22 years old, I was practically a child. I had a college degree, a job, and a high school sweetheart so I was ready! I dove headfirst into wedding planning: the flowers, music, church, bridesmaids, and every detail in between. Someone forgot to prepare me for the harsh reality that the years following that magical day may not all feel like an extended honeymoon. The wedding and “the marriage” are two very different things! Fast forward almost three decades, two (now adult) children, an empty nest, and a ton of experience under my belt. I’m now on the other side and I’ve learned a few things worthy of sharing. First, marriage is HARD. There are difficult days which sometimes turn into weeks, months, or even years. Second, you’re not alone and it’s probably not “worse” for you than it is for everyone else. Young parents, let me speak to you for a moment. You are in the most exhausting phase of life in which you might ever find yourself. The demands on your time, energy, and attention seem endless, all while you may only see the short-comings, deficiencies, and annoyances of your spouse. This season won’t last forever. Third, take heart. There is hope if you will seek strength in God. Marriage is a Godly gift, full of shared and treasured experiences to be enjoyed together. Let’s dive in.
I DON’T WANT TO!
Some common complaints I hear from young wives and mothers usually go like this: “I just don’t feel the same.” “I’ve changed (or “He has changed).” “I’m too young to be unhappy for the rest of my life.” “I feel like God wants me to be happy and I deserve it.” “I could do this better on my own.” “The kids will adjust.” Maybe a few of these sound familiar to you today. You might even be so checked out that you just don’t want to try anymore. It’s too hard and your heart isn’t in it. Don’t grow weary. Call on God! I promise (and, more importantly, so does God) that the perseverance and your family are worth it! Yes, it will require momentary sacrifice and self-discipline. Maybe you need to stifle the last word or hurtful insults when you argue. Perhaps severing unhealthy friendships is in order. Maybe you need to prioritize time with your family over late-night work or time-consuming hobbies. Fighting through the tough times for your marriage isn’t a death sentence for your personal happiness. It’s teaching and growing you to rejoice and be grateful in the resolution which will come. God will bless your sacrifice and the honoring of the vow you took.
GOD’S WORD ON MARRIAGE
In some wedding ceremonies, the hands of husband and wife are tied together with a ribbon or sash to symbolize being yoked together, equally sharing life’s burdens. Marriage is a permanent institution. Jesus said, “What God has joined together, let no one separate” (Matthew 19:6b, NIV). For years, I took this verse to mean that no other person could infiltrate or jeopardize my marriage. I now realize there are many assaults on a marriage that can occur from within, including my own apathy. Without God, I could have been my marriage’s own worst enemy! The Bible teaches “husband, love your wives” (Ephesians 5:25) and to “teach young women …to love their husbands” (Titus 2:4). There are no conditions here. The Bible doesn’t say “if he/she does everything right,” then love them with your whole heart. These are instructions for an ACTION. We must choose love and remain faithful in our actions because that’s what God calls us to do. He will make a way, even in what may seem the most irreparable situation. Make It Personal: When your relationship with your spouse or your children is fractured and seems to be faltering, who do you call? Is it your mom or dad, your sister, friend, or co-worker? Do you dump the basket of dirty laundry on anyone who will listen? Let me challenge you today to focus on intentional relationship building with your spouse through prayer and open communication. Go to God with your troubles and ask for His guidance and intervention. Pray fervently for a softened and open heart. Seek professional Christian counsel. Marriage is a sacred vow. It’s a commitment, not a convenience. Before giving up and missing out on the joy of what God has ahead for you together, spend as much time with God as you’ve spent lamenting what you think is already lost.
Pray: God, You’ve given me the blessing of a sacred union with the one You’ve designed just for me. Thank You. Build my endurance when times are tough. Encourage me to be committed and loving even in the moments I don’t “feel” it. Reveal to me the areas I need to improve so that I contribute to the harmony in my marriage. I ask for Your blessing on my family, that Your protection will be around us, defending us against all things detrimental to our union. Amen.
Read: Ephesians 4:2-3; Romans 12:10; Colossians 3:12-17; Ecclesiastes 4:9-12;Proverbs 3:3-4
Weekly Memory Verse: “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” 1 Corinthians 13:7-8a, ESV