ULTIMATE FRIEND
Susan Murray
Today’s Scripture: “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” Proverbs 27:6 ESV
Theme: Loving guidance—shared with the right motives and attitudes—can help us, even if it hurts to hear the truth.
FRIENDS
We inherently know that we need friends. We were designed to have friendships. Without friends, life is isolated and lonely, even when standing in a room full of people. Augustine said, “Without friends, no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods.” Friendship is more than just knowing about someone but having a deep heart connection of care for the interest and benefit of another. Derek Kidner writes that friendship requires effort and vulnerability. I’ve also heard that friendships are a bridge. Without effort and vulnerability, you could only build a sparse wooden bridge that would only be rickety and weak. With intentional effort and vulnerability, one could build a strong, spacious bridge made of concrete.
The Bible speaks about friendship in its aspects, including its benefits (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12) and the wisdom required in choosing a friend (Proverbs 12:26). Also, Proverbs 17:17 describes a friend as someone who loves you in good times and bad times.
WOUNDS
Friends can cause wounds. Sometimes friends betray us, causing wounds that feel like a jagged knife which rips indiscriminately causing harm and pain (Psalms 41:9). It’s possible, through repentance and forgiveness for those wounds, to heal—but it takes work to rebuild the bridge of friendship.
Then there are other wounds that are meant for our good, although they certainly don’t feel good. It’s like the precise cut of a scalpel which a surgeon makes to cut out a life-destroying cancer to bring healing. It’s still very painful, but the wound is done with gentle precision and care under the right circumstances and with the approval of the patient. This is called speaking the truth in love. This is love because the friend cares about you and has the courage to address what they see in your life that may be dangerous and destructive.
WOUNDS WHICH LEAD TO REPENTANCE
King David had such a friend. His name was Nathan. You can read about it in 2 Samuel 12:1-10. The King had committed adultery and orchestrated a murder to cover it (see 2 Samuel 11). Nathan confronts David and David’s response is recorded in Psalms 51 where he confesses, repents, and acknowledges that God’s grace will cleanse him. David knew in his heart what we read in Isaiah 30:15a; “In repentance and rest is your salvation” (NIV).
In the New Testament book of 1 Corinthians, Paul needed to speak strong words of correction to the church in Corinth. Though he didn’t like doing it, he felt compelled out of love to do so. He says in his follow up letter, “Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while— yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance” (2 Corinthians 7:8-9a, NIV) In both letters, Paul calls them his friends.
ULTIMATE FRIEND; ULTIMATE WOUND
Moses spoke to God face to face as one speaks to a friend (see Exodus 33:11). Abraham was said to be God’s friend in Isaiah 41:8 and James 2:23. Jesus was criticized by the religious elite for being the friend of sinners (see Luke 7:34). If you read through the Gospels, you will see that Jesus lovingly, yet with strength, corrected His disciples, calling them friends. In Jesus’ final lessons to them, before His crucifixion, He told them in John 15:13, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” And in verse 15: “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you” (NIV).
“…He was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.” Isaiah 53:5, NIV
Jesus is the ultimate Friend who took the ultimate wound in our place on the cross. “The dearest friend on earth is a mere shadow compared to Jesus Christ” (Oswald Chambers). Because of Him, we are now friends of God and no longer enemies. “...while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son” (Romans 5:10a, NIV). Jesus made the first move to be your friend, making it possible for you to be a friend to others.
Make It Personal: Who are your friends? I don’t mean so-called Facebook “friends” but those with whom you have spent time. With whom have you shared mutual vulnerability, building a strong bridge that can handle both delightful and difficult conversations in both directions? Who have you given permission to be your “Nathan,” used by the Holy Spirit to draw you closer to Jesus? Maybe out of fear of rejection or conflict, have you not spoken the truth your friend needs? And a warning to those of us who love to correct: It’s possible to be more concerned with being right than loving. Ask your friends how it feels to be corrected by you. Maybe you are more of a jagged blade than a loving scalpel. Maybe you are trying to take a tank of truth over a bridge made of sticks, causing it to collapse.
Pray: Father, You are the Creator of all things, including friendship. Jesus, You willingly left heaven, coming to earth, making us Your friends by Your costly death and glorious resurrection. Help me to ponder the beauty of Your friendship till I am so secure in Your love that I can be a courageous friend, speaking truth gently to others. Give me discernment in choosing wise friends who can speak into my life, motivated by love. Prepare my heart to listen, resting in Jesus, so I am not defensive. Forgive me for not being a good friend when I shut myself away from others and forgive me when I speak the truth carelessly, being judgmental. Show me where I fail as a friend and change me by Your love. I praise You, Father, for You will give us what we need to be a friend like Jesus. In His Name I pray. Amen.
Read: Proverbs 12:15,18, 26, 13:20, 15:31-32; Ecclesiastes 4:9-12; John 15:9-17
Weekly Memory Verse: “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.” Matthew 7:1-2, ESV