EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE IT
Kimberly Lawrence
Today's Scripture: “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” Colossians 3:18-19, ESV
Theme: Love and yield even when you don’t feel like it.
CONSISTENT BEHAVIOR
I don’t know about you, but I am my most authentic self at home. It is the place I am most relaxed, with the people I am most comfortable. I would love to say this means those closest to me also get the best of me but, regrettably, it can sometimes be just the opposite. They get the tired, unpleasant, frustrated, and impatient “me” while friends, acquaintances and co-workers get the benefit of the friendly, helpful, and encouraging “me.” While that’s certainly not intentional, it also isn’t fair. What I must work on and correct is to practice the fruit of the Spirit outside of my house AND inside my home.
A friend once told me, “Just because it’s the truth, doesn’t mean you always have to say it.” I think that one sentence sums up the secret to a long and successful marriage. Please hear me… I’m not talking about suppressing all your feelings and never engaging in a healthy dialogue with your spouse. I’m talking about resisting the urge to have the last word and insisting on being right about everything. Intentionality is essential when it comes to loving those closest to us. Using the measure of honor and respect in every interaction with our spouses helps us not only determine what to say but how to say it.
FOR THE LADIES – LOVE AND YIELD
"Wives, submit to your husbands." This doesn’t seem natural or admirable in our society, does it? If submitting feels like sacrifice, that’s because sometimes it is. When I submit to my husband, I am not powerless in my household. Rather, I give him the confidence and place of honor to lead our family in our Christian walks. I submit to my husband "out of reverence for Christ" (Ephesians 5:21, ESV). If you’re looking for your husband to lead your family, have you given him the ability to do so? Do you encourage and support him in the ways he needs – mentally, physically, and spiritually? Submitting to your husband doesn’t mean you abandon your voice; you simply use it for building up rather than tearing down.
FOR THE GENTS – WATCH YOUR TONE
"Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them." I spend much of my work time with couples. It’s always interesting to me how spouses will talk to one another, especially in the presence of a virtual stranger. Do they let one another finish their thoughts? Are they condescending or dismissive? Will they ask for their opinion or confirm understanding? Husbands, approach conversations with your wife as your most patient self. Speak respectfully and with a tone that honors her. Resist impatience and the invalidation of her feelings. Put her needs above all others and speak highly of her, inside and outside of your household.
I DON’T FEEL LIKE IT
There are many things I don’t feel like doing, but they are necessary and lead to a favorable outcome. I don’t feel like exercising, paying my taxes, cleaning my house, or sometimes going to work. But, I do these things. There may be times you may not “feel like” honoring your spouse or doing the things he/she wants or needs at the expense of your own priorities. DO IT ANYWAY! The reward is a unification in your marriage, and God will bless your obedience. At times, you may wonder if you’re the only one investing in your relationship. DO IT ANYWAY and allow God to work.
Make It Personal: Reflect on where, in your marital relationship, you need to put your spouse first. This may be as a decision-maker in your home, a priority of your time and attention, or with simple appreciation and adoration. Scripture tells us to love as Christ loved the church… and gave Himself up for her. Above all else, this example speaks of sacrifice, respect, and priority.
Pray: God, thank You for the perfect partner You chose just for me. Help me see the ways I need to yield, sacrifice, or love better, and in the way my spouse needs. Forgive me when I grow weary and fail to make the investment of time and energy in this blessing You have provided for me. Grant me patience and a sincere desire to discover how my husband/wife wants to be loved, honored, and respected. Amen.
Read: Ephesians 5:21-33; Matthew 19:4-6; Ephesians 4:2-3; Romans 12:10-12; Proverbs 3:3-4
Weekly Memory Verse: “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” Colossians 3:23-24, ESV